I Need A Social Media Break

Assalamualaikum, hi there :)

First of all, I just wanna let you know how glad I am to be able to write something today. 3 days before 2020, I realised how much pain I have received throughout this whole year. Countless mental breakdowns and I have to rise by myself every single time. I don't know why I took so long to realise about this but a close friend of mine has recently knocked on the door for me. I realised how in the last few years, I've been spending so much time on social medias envying others' beautiful coats of life. How I spent my time asking "Why can't I be happy like anyone else?" "Why does everyone lived their life very easily?" "Why can't I be as strong as others?" when the truth is, I never knew the typhoons that they've gone through to achieve such happiness.

Since that night, I've made my decision to take a break from my social media and if possible, to never be on socmeds again. Of course, it was tough. But I really made my mind this time. So I slowly try my best to reduce my time on my Instagram and eventually got the strength to uninstalled it today. I felt awkwardly relieved. But I know this is for the best. I'm still on Twitter for now and currently trying to avoid being on twitter too much and hopefully, I could gather enough strength to uninstall Twitter too someday. Only twitter and that's it. I'm gonna be free from social media (except Whatsapp and telegram because I need those for my study lol)

So, no longer idle Instagram scrolling in my free time and now I have more free time. More free times mean I gotta fight the inner me who keeps on persuading me to be on Instagram again. It was a really strong 'monster' so I thought I need something to fill my free time. Sooooo I decided to improve my 3rd and 4th language which is Japanese and German. I already have a little bit of basic for both languages so learning 2 languages simultaneously aren't that hard for me. Quite challenging but it's a really fun ride. I aim to master these two as soon as I could and start learning French or Italian soon-yep I do wish to be a linguist but we'll see ahaha.

In case if you're curious, I downloaded Duolingo. P/s: I added Indonesian for extra points ahahaha and korean and chinese because I wish to learn those when I'm less busy lol

But anyway, I hope I would be able to leave socmeds for good. As it brings more cons than pros. I just wish that everyone will give me proper support because this means the world to me. Well then, until we meet again. Tschüss.

Cherophobia

"Cherophobia is a phobia where a person has an irrational aversion to being happy. The term comes from the Greek word “chero,” which means “to rejoice.” When a person experiences cherophobia, they’re often afraid to participate in activities that many would characterize as fun, or of being happy." 

Reference: Here

Assalamualaikum. Hi :)

Phew, it has been quite some time since the last time I wrote. My last few weeks has been such a big mess. I have a lot to catch up with my assignments, my life was hit by a tornado and my health is not in the best condition too. But anyway, I'm good. How about you?

So, cherophobia, I believe many of you have never heard of this but it does exist. It's a kind of phobia that makes you feel afraid of happiness. When you have this, you tend to avoid being happy as many times as you could. You'll always have a constant fear of things might go wrong whenever things goes too smoothly.

Well it's up to you to believe this or not but as for me, I believe in this as I literally have this phobia. I noticed how in the past few years, I've been avoiding myself for being too comfortable when my life was at my best because I know that later, something bad will happen and since I've been betrayed quite a number of times, I would also avoid as many interactions as I could with people. Because for me, being surrounded does make me happy but it's no longer beautiful when you get betrayed. Over and over again.

I know it's bad to keep such things in life and I'm still trying my best to overcome this phobia. But it's not easy. Because it's not something that you can change physically. It takes a lot of effort, it requires a lot of support, it's a really long process and it's a painful journey. In the end of the day, I have to accept that it's normal to be happy. We're human beans, we deserve to be happy. Of course, we need to be sad too sometimes, and it's normal. It's normal to have feelings. I mean, that's what we are. There must be a reason we've been gifted with feelings. That's the thing that all of us have to know.